Old wounds that healed but still bleeds…

Sometimes old wounds bleed at the oddest times. When you least expected it…

Suddenly, your smile flashed in my faintest memories of you… though, i can’t say i remember how you look now after 40 years.

If only you know who i am right now.
If only you know whom the person i have become.
If only you can get to know your grandchildren.
They do ask about you discreetly, not wanting to hurt my feelings.

I hope i’m not the only one missing you sometimes.

Heck, I hope you miss me all the time.
Strange that i have forgiven, the wound, i believe have healed but tears gathered at the brim of my eyes whenever i think of you.

Someone asked me what will i do if you turn up at my door one day. I said i do not know. Is it too late to apologize? Well 40 years have gone and you haven’t turned up… so i really don’t know.

Will you ever? I have stopped asking that question for a long long time.

Maybe one of your sons will stumble upon my page and realised that we share the same family name and start to wonder? Really… i don’t know.

Maybe it’s the hormones playing havoc in me… 🤭

Well…let’s leave it at that. I moved on after leaving that part of my past to HIM.

If he turns up at my door one day, i can’t say what will happen. Unless that happens, am not expecting it either.

I just hope i will see you before our curtains finally closes at the end of our lives 💜

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